Quote from: Horkabork on September 11, 2011, 11:02:11 AM

Mt. Gox, and any site, should be used for coins you plan on exchanging within, say, a 48 hour period. It baffles me that people are using a cryptocurrency with its benefits of security and control while throwing away those very benefits by letting someone else hold their bitcoins. That's like investing all your money in gold and then storing it in your gym locker. Damn. That's a horrible analogy and I apologize. It's actually more your accountant's gym locker. Or, screw it, the trunk of his car. Yeah, it's an old VW bug where the trunk is in the front. So, if your accountant slams on his brakes, all that heavy gold of yours will go flying out into traffic. Get this, guys: in this analogy, your accountant lives in south central LA. It's a hot day, too. So hot that you could light a crack pipe off the sidewalk, so your accountant's oil-cooled engine is overheating and he had to turn on the heater, which made him dizzy and that's how he got into this mess of losing your hard-earned gold. And he's in this messy divorce, which is why he's an accountant who works out of this shitty car rather than his office, because, man, you break one wine glass out of anger and yell at the Shih Tzu to quit pissing diarrhea all over your white carpet and your soon-to-be-ex-wife has a fantastic excuse to restraining-order your ass out of town.

Anyway, our accountant nearly passes out and then he comes-to just in time to see a baby crawling across the street. Babies crawling out in traffic on hot summer days is very common in south central LA. I read it on Drudge. He swerves and slams on his brakes and your gold flies out of the trunk into--get this--the only White Pride outpost in all of LA. This place is heavily guarded with asshole skinheads. Months ago, they saw it as their mission from god to buy a building in what they determined to be the most wretched hive of scum and villainy in all the land, with all the problems of the world blamed directly on non-pale people who they were intent on battling. They recently turned their one little plot of land deep in gang-country into a spearhead for their terrible cause.

So there's your gold bars, sitting on the other side of a cyclone fence with a horde of armed, tattooed white dudes thinking that Jesus just paid them royalties and endorsed their mission. Oh, but your accountant is not a white dude. He's/she's actually a transvestite cross-dressing sudanese-american with body dysmorphic disorder, vitiligo, multiple personalities, and wearing a half-burqua (not for religious reasons, but for the fashion). Also, he's an atheist with Richard Dawkins books covering the passenger seat of the VW. The VW exterior is covered with prominant stickers touting all kinds of liberal groups: NAACP, Planned Parenthood, Earth Share, Rainbow PUSH, The Southern Poverty Law Center, Greenpeace, GLAD, World Wildlife Fund, La Raza, PETA, NARAL, The Brady Center, NOW and the ACLU. Also, there's an AARP sticker for some reason and a sticker of a T-rex eating a shark eating the Jesus fish.

Furthermore, the baby your accountant nearly hit is a Crip. (Baby Crips are a thing now. I read it on Drudge). So his li'l buddies are about to jump all over this situation. He's throwing up little tiny gang signs at the accountant, just to see if he's about to cap any gang affiliate before all hell breaks loose.

Oh man, I'd say your gold bars are as good as gone, and your accountant is in the shit as well. So, for god's sake, why did you give your gold to a VW-driving traveling accountant in south central LA? WHY? This was a terrible idea and, frankly, you deserve to lose all that money. But now, through your own stupidity, you've helped spark and fund some kind of race war. Oh man you are such a racist and I'm ashamed of you.

epic.story.