Do I know you?

No, but I would sure like to know you.
Perhaps we can exchange photos of private parts of our bodies for fun. I'll go first to break the ice.

What do you need me to apologize for?

Personally, nothing. [Well, other that you don't give me much attention]
But this is not about me.

I'm sure I regret everything I may have done that made you a morose little poodle yapping at me in random threads.

Please don't, I don't. I just wanna be your dog.

Don't even try to stay on topic, it might strain your faculties beyond their capacity.

That's so chicky of you. I am on topic. I'm also getting a huge boner - how.did.you.know? Kiss