It is pretty much impossible to follow your story, but it all sounds very fishy. What is the name of site you are using? Is it this site? What is the "escrow list" you are referring to? Have you used it before? Have you traded with this person or this escrow before?
Its a sell from this site and the escrow list is this one
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=276897.0 (the same person they recommended to escrow it).
This alone is enough to give me pause. An escrow should be mutually agreed. If one party demands you use a specific escrow, then that can be a sign of a scam attempt.
It wasnt demanded and i contacted the escrow earlier and recieved a message back from them as thats the one i wanted to use. The seller recomended the same one which confirmed that was the one we were going to use.