Quote from: Sumarokov on August 27, 2021, 11:42:32 AM

OK. So I see the first instructions: "To allow your Trezor device to communicate smoothly with Trezor Wallet, we strongly recommend installing Trezor Bridge. It is the most optimized solution that is compatible with Chrome and Firefox browsers. When you go to the Trezor Wallet website, you will see a page with a download link."

You don't need to install Bridge software if you are are using Trezor Suite, and it's better if you are using desktop version instead of web version.
Bridge is only used for connecting with other wallets like Exodus or Metamask, and you can also use Electrum with your Trezor just fine.

Quote from: Sumarokov on August 27, 2021, 11:42:32 AM

So which is it? Which route do I take? Can anyone provide a link to a definitive step-by-step guide to setting up a Trezor Model One wallet?

You will see clear instruction when you download and start Trezor Suite, but make sure you download it only from official website.

Quote from: Sumarokov on Today at 04:21:42 PM

So why would I trust my coins to something that is “buggy”? But why is it buggy in the first place? How can something like this be allowed to be put into exploitation?

I never had any bugs with Trezor wallet and their explanation for first setup is very simple for anyone who can use their brain.

Quote from: Sumarokov on Today at 04:21:42 PM

Would a bridge be put into exploitation if there was something not right with the traffic light system on it? Am I supposed to just close my eyes to this red banner with an exclamation sign?

Like I said before, you don't need to use Bridge software and complicated things.

Quote from: Sumarokov on Today at 04:21:42 PM

I see on the Trezor forum that people who post tickets are told it will take TWENTY DAYS (!) to answer.

Bla bla bla... have you actually tried to contact their support or all your post all more theoretical complains?
All hardware wallets have small teams and bad support, so don't expect miracles or just don't use hardware wallets, they are not mandatory.