I mean, I've been bucked off a few bronco's in my time, but I can't ever recall my glutes feeling this sort of muscular ache.
Not cool at all.
Perhaps you've been concentrating too much on testicular training alone, neglecting the other side?

OK OK enough joking, now on to the good news.
I have a strange conspiracy theory that my high dosage of quality CBD capsules, daily - to help treat inflammation in another part of my body - has utterly prevented the bug from taking root in my lungs - Dosing a few hundred MG of CBD per day across a morning and evening regimen.
I'm probably retarded, tho.
Not necessarily. There is some experimental evidence that CBD and other cannabinoids have significant effects on Sars-Cov-2 ability to infect. Not THC, apparently, though.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7987002/?fbclid=IwAR36HNRmX5XViNUNAk1i5fRp1lchwBm2jpPrlz4MNhtNIl0U3bNcDPKONOMThere are quite a bunch of papers like the one I'm linking. This is but one example.