Part of the problem is that older guys might sometimes get tired of their wives,

-snip-

By the way, on that last point, there might be some willingness to assert that "I don't mind paying for the services that we agree to", but then even if we might be at magnitudes above entry-level fuck you status, we might not be very accustomed to "transactional relations," so in that regard, even if there might be a "transactional relationship" going on, we still want to attempt to maintain a kind of appearance that the relationship is not transactional, and creating those kinds of relationships might not be very easy to accomplish...   Am I talking from experience?  not going to get into those kinds of details, at this time.

By the way, one of the difficulties of having that long-term spouse relationship may be some of the possible "being discrete" issues because the wife might not completely mind if some of the side play starts to happen, but she may well not want to know details or to have anyone who she knows to know such details either.. in order that she can maintain face.