Thanks for the detailed reply. I have the skills to understand and follow these instructions (linux, electrum, et al). My only concern is specific to the Apollo. When I got it I immediately updated it to the latest OS patch level - which of course bricked it and I had to re-image and start again. Any chance of issues like that cropping up while using these instructions? Re-imaging and starting from scratch is tedious!

Nope, this only happens if you update the Linux operating system itself to a newer major revision. The instructions I provided only update and install packages; not touching the system.
Installing electrum and lightning on a different machine is as good as running all on the same? I realize its a little redundant but i have a couple mac minis with dual core processors that should be able to run this instead of taxing the full node.
I guess what im asking is does more ram+processor help bitcoind, lightning or electrum more? I have considered just throwing away the sbc part of the full node i just came seem to find a reason for needing it that is obvious to me. it has opened a lot of doors for me tinkering with gpio and pci-e a lot more than i have in the past simply because i never had a reason to do so prior.
I think the futurebit product is def something many many non technical people can utilize especially if its secure i do not have any background beyond common sense on security of linux and networking so that was one reason i ordered it. sorry joseph its not you its really me im dumb your product is great.
standing on the shoulders of giants is great but becoming a mini giant is also rewarding at this point id settle for micro giant. of all the time and money i spent on trying to educate myself in this bitcoin world i think overall its worth it but the frustration really sucks.