Which leads me to another question
How do each of you choose fees if you're not in a rush?
See my topic on consolidating small inputs. I don't think my Bitcoin Core ever drops my transactions on it's own, it just keeps broadcasting them. So 1 sat/vbyte would work just fine.How do each of you choose fees if you're not in a rush?
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I have a feeling 1sat /vb might be a thing of the past. Correct me if Im wrong.
Your "feeling" doesn't mean anything. Look at fees during the past year or 6 years: fees always went down again!Quote
I just don't want to have the transaction somehow disappear or be in limbo indefinitely 
If the transaction disappears, you can make it again. It's not as if your Bitcoins disappear. If it's in limbo forever, you can either set your wallet to drop it, use RBF, or use CPFP. It all starts by using a good wallet.What would you consider congested? I'm guessing if its purging transactions >300mb - its congested. Is that a good indicator?
Back in 2017, I once paid $25 in fees for a small transaction. That was congested. Even 400 sat/byte wasn't enough, fees would just go higher.Quote
Which wallet would you suggest? I'm mostly going into a hardware wallet.
I would suggest to at least try out different wallets: Electrum with a hardware wallet, Bitcoin Core on your own system, and a mobile wallet for on the road. Just see what works for you.