Quote from: Marcellin9 on Today at 07:10:22 AM

Quote from: Fortify on March 13, 2023, 04:18:13 PM

Quote from: Marcellin9 on March 13, 2023, 04:05:11 AM

Managing finances properly is key to our financial life, which is well known to each of us, I guess. I feel like this is in my bones so sometimes I make some decisions subconsciously. I recently ran into a situation where I found myself really awkward. Last July or August(I can't remember that clearly), one of my extended family cousin asked me for three thousand dollars as he lost his job and could not pay off his loans. I refuse to lend him the money cause I knew him well that he was not a solid trustworthy guy. A few days ago we met on a family reunion occasion and he did not really talk to me and I suddenly realized that it was because I didn't lend him money last year. I think about it twice and if he had not been that untrustworthy, I would have definitely lent him the money. Anyway, I hope he is doing fine now and best wishes to him.

Sometimes the hardest thing it takes to learn in life is the ability to say no. There are some extreme examples and emergencies, where if you have a strong relationship, that goes equally both ways - then it can make sense to give someone money to help them out, if you have it to spare. However the keyword there is give. Lending money to friends and family is only going to lead to lots of problems in the longer run. If they need money then give it to them on the basis that you expect to lose it all and only what you can reasonably afford, that way when they do pay it back it works out best for everyone. Nobody that asks, essentially begs, for money and is angry when you refuse is worth being around anyway - your cousin did you a favor by showing how little they value you.

You know why I did not lend him the money ? We had not seen each other for years and even when we were young, he was taking every opportunity to take advantage of me. I still remember him negelecting me and my calls for so reason and how come when he needed money, he would just call me to ask for money ? To be honest, I did have the money but I refused to lend him. I bet if I were to give him the money, he would disappear for years and I would never get my money back. Well, you are absolutely right that his holding grudge shows how little he values me. Saying no to him was the right thing I have done.

This right here!
You had genuine intentions for him when you were guys were young but he had the opposite. I wonder why he lost his job in the first place. And there is also a lot more than the story he might have cooked up for you.
It very risky to associate money with such person.