I also don't think taproot is what enabled the current issues as much as segwit, but what do I know?
Considering how this attack has become possible by exploiting an oversight in the Taproot script validation rules, this is a Taproot related issue not a SegWit related one.
but please acknowledge this isn't going to prevent people from using Bitcoin as a cloud storage. You can't prevent that,
That's true but it depends on what we mean by "cloud storage". If it is the very small size we allow to be stored in an OP_RETURN output for example, then we can't prevent that and we aren't. But if it is the exploitation of protocol to store any size without limit (except the block size) then we can prevent it well. We've done that for the past 14 years.
even if you completely break forwards-compatibility and invalidate every transaction that isn't standard. You're just going to make the rules stricter, making the Bitcoin network vulnerable to enforcing rules based on subjective criteria.
It won't break anything and saying that a single transaction with 1 input/output must not be allowed to be
~4 MB in size to store garbage on chain to scam idiots who would pay for this garbage, is not called "subjective criteria".
Because now people make usage of it, and because I'm not so ignorant to tell what people are allowed to do in the most freedom-supporting network on the planet.
Well there is a big difference between usage and exploit.