For those who don’t know me, I’m just a regular person trying to make a living in a country where job opportunities are nearly impossible to find.
I will be direct with you. You are not just a regular person, you are unstable and very prone to vices. What is very urgent for you is that you seek help and a solution to the problem of addiction. You are aware that you live in an environment where it is difficult to get a job, yet you decide on an expensive hobby and spend someone else's money.
With such habits, it would be very difficult to get a loan anywhere because you are quite risky.
Also, the bad habits you talk about are enough of a warning and a signal that you can't really be trusted for your honesty. I have met with similar cases, so I know from personal experience.
I have nothing against you, I wish you to recover and get out of a bad state, but I'm afraid that it will be difficult even though you are aware of everything.
Firstly:
Log out of the Forum and shut your PC down. Go outside (leaving your phone behind). Look across the street for a few minutes. Walk to the end of the street and back.
Man, this is not a Hollywood movie, where the main character buys a $15,000 motorcycle and drives thousands of miles away and starts life over. The real problems are much more complex.
It is easy to advise to unknown person from a comfortable armchair with enough money in the bank account.