I’m not exactly sure where to begin ~snip~
I am not sure you did the right thing by sharing such a personal issue with the forum. Maybe keeping intimate details of your private life away from the public would have been better however, if you feel you can use this thread as motivation to turn your current predicament around then maybe it will be part of the recovery process.
Reading this was not easy because you find yourself in a deep state of despair. I wish you the best as you try to navigate your way to a better place.
@Poker Player, just to clarify, I have been drugfree for almost a year now and I haven’t touched anything since I made my decision. Unfortunately, the medical system here is not reliable enough for my condition.
Well, now all you need to do is to be gambling free. For life. Remember, in your case you can't gamble a little bit, you have to quit for good. And tell someone about your problem IRL.
As tough or as difficult as it might seem at the moment, this seems to be very good advice.