Yes, family is really like a lottery, one never knows if one got the best or the worst, but in terms of help in terms of money it should be done because it comes from the heart, I am not that hard-hearted, if it is a member of my family and needs help and if I have money, then I help without further ado, it is like you say, some help without asking, but others who see that a relative is dying and need money to save them to perform tragic surgery, well, they prefer to see them die than to help them, humanity is with that heart in the end, everything is a decision and this is what separates the good from the bad.
For me i have always rather seen it differently and that is because i have a different taught because i have seen from experience that family sometimes can be the product of how well you relate and how well you relate and how you actually do see them, your relationship with family and the way you associate with them is one thing that i see as a key reason family can sometimes be of a very different behavior towards you, i still understand that there are cases where, you can be good and still have some part of the family against you but its not going to be all of them as there will still be this one person who will still stick around regardless. so keeping expectations low and doing your best for family is what i see as the best and definitely it will pay off some day.