I am sure there still a chance for you to forgive yourself and trying to give back the borrow money if you still have a loan. The important thing is you try to repay the money and not run from the your responsibility to pay the money. After you give back the money, you must commit to yourself not borrow money from other people. If you are not in the urgent situation, you should stay away from borrowing the money because that give you a risk.
Over the years (or so it seems to me) I have given almost all the money back to the people I borrowed from. Only a small part remains. A little more time and I will completely remove this burden from myself, which hangs around my neck like a stone, weighing me down.
Yes, you are right. I no longer have any desire to do this not only to people, but also to myself. It was a waste of so many years. During this time, I could have directed my efforts in a completely different direction and become the person I wanted to be since childhood.
There is nothing actually wrong with borrowing money to bet because if you end up making 100X with the money you borrowed, it's win and the person might think that the luck he got to win such huge amounts of money is as a result of the money he borrowed and might want to keep borrowing even though he has enough to pay. Everyone wants to keep making profits from gambling because we are only gambling to enrich ourselves and keeping making money from different games we gamble on. Consistency can bring profits but this can be very difficult when it comes to gambling for the bag.