This almost-miss leaves a residue, a poisonous "what if" that taints your judgment. You're not just sad about losing the money; you're also dealing with a fake glimpse of a different life, a psychological trick meant to make the loss feel personal and targeted. It's more about your intentional weaponizing of your own expectations than about the result of the gamble.
This is probably one of the most unique descriptions I've read on this forum. I don't know if I've experienced something as dramatic as that, but I do occasionally remember some mistakes and regrets when I'm bored. Stuff like "why don't I sell this or that, I'd make some decent profits after that" always shows up every once in a while, even outside of gambling.
Fortunately, I don't feel that the universe is actively against me. It probably helped that some of my decisions turned out to be a blessing in disguise, even though I'm still not as lucky as others.