I appreciate that. On another note, I had never had a close family member die before, much less of cancer, and I guess I had the idea that it would be like a movie-- either painless and instant, or Godfather "last words" style. I had no idea that cancer basically makes you go senile right before you die, causing you to freak out for a day saying things you've never said, then go open-eye comatose for another day, finally becoming unresponsive until your breathing stops.

My right brain and left brain were both soaking the thing in. Really weird experience. Everyone I talked to after the fact pretty much said that's how their relative/friend went as well. Makes me horrified of cancer even more so.

We weren't that close or anything so I guess I am handling it much better than my oldest sister who keeps shouting it's 'her fault' and something about being 'too late', but one thing is for sure-- I wouldn't even want my enemies to have to live with the pain and suffering she was going through. I am happy she passed quickly and in her sleep (even if her sleep was drug induced).