Quote from: libert19 on August 20, 2025, 07:45:53 AM

unless one is well off himself one should not be having kids, this is my opinion.

I had a couple of friends (I haven't seen them in a long time) who had a similar mindset to yours... They were & still are alone, without a wife, children, close to fifty, it all seems too late. I understand why that is, but that is a story for another topic.

About 10-15 years ago, I was talking to an old man on this same topic, and I still remember his words: "If everyone had waited for perfect conditions, there wouldn't be any children." Think about that...

So I wasn't "well" alone... but with my wife, that means together, we started to build something... Little by little, helping each other, both on the same page, we make progress. That's something we both care about, and everything we do we both get credits for that... each of us is good/better in some field than the other.

If you are "well off yourself", then your partner should do what? Nothing except pleasing your desires? Just to please you & take care of you in all ways because you provide money & shelter?

50 Shades of gray or something similar?

One should not have kids if one is not ready to take the responsibility... It's the same for men & women. If you find a good partner, you will get much further than you can on your own... because with a good partner, you complement each other, what you don't have, she have and vice versa.

I must add, it's like gambling... this choice requires luck, perhaps much greater than when gambling. In gambling, if we are not lucky, we can lose some money (we can always earn more somehow), but if we make a wrong choice with a partner (without luck), we fuck up our entire life and the lives of others involved... an error that cannot be corrected/repaired/compensated (there is no reset button

). Hard truth...