Quote from: coinits on July 07, 2014, 10:45:03 AM

Quote from: Blinken on June 19, 2014, 09:47:01 PM

From the same Bolivian legislators who have also wisely made it illegal to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

Ah, Bolivia, the home of the llama, the dumbest of all pack animals. The country still hoping to build a tunnel to the Pacific Ocean. The country where driving a car is tantamount to suicide. Unfortunately, that has not resulted in the extermination of the Bolivians, because there are very few (functional) cars there, the reason being that whenever a car has a mechanical problem it becomes permanently inoperable due to the absence of anyone intelligent enough to be able to fix a car.

To their credit, they were eventually able to kill Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, although it did take over 1,000 of them to do it.

Ah, Bolivia, the only country in which McDonalds is unable to operate, because the concept of a restaurant is too complex for their bird-like brains. Where airplanes are illegal, because, you know, it's impossible to fly. That's logical right: it's impossible to fly therefore airplanes should be illegal. Very logical. Based on that logical insight they were invited to submit a team to the world math olympiad, but that proved impossible because they were unable to find any Bolivians who knew what math was. So, instead they had a tortilla eating olympiad in La Paz.

La Paz, interestingly enough has a few buildings which are over 1 story in height, presumably built by foreigners. The Bolivian architects specialize in constructing soccer fields, because nothing is more important than soccer, and they are safe. Safe in the sense that noone has been killed by a collapsing soccer field, the soccer fields, being, well, flat. Some goalies have been injured, however, by falling goal crossbars, so that is their current focus: improving crossbar joining technology to avoid goalie head injuries. This is very important because the soccer field is the most important part of every Bolivian city. It's the law there must at least one soccer field every 5 blocks.

The Bolivians like soccer because it is simple to understand: kick ball. At one point some Americans tried to teach them baseball, but that didn't work, since it involves using the hands and legs at the same time and other complexities like requiring the use of tools. The Americans tried tying a glove on a llama to demonstrate that animals, and by extension people, could indeed use tools, but the indios remained convinced tool use in sports was impossible so they made baseball and any other sport utilizing tools illegal, because they are impossible.

Bolivia used to be a much larger country. In fact, at one time all almost all of South America was "Bolivia", but the Bolivians kept starting wars and losing them. Every time they lost, they would lose more territory. Other times they just gave away territory. For example, around 1900 it was discovered that a Bolivian region called Acre had a lot of rubber trees in it, so Brazil told the president of Bolivia, who, like all Bolivians was an idiot, that they would like to buy Acre. The president said, "How much?" The Brazilians knowing how stupid the Bolivians are, said, "How about 1 horse?" The Bolivian president said, "Hah, what do you think I am? An idiot? I have lots of horses." Then the Brazilians said, "O, but this horse is perfectly white." The Bolivian president not having any white horses readily agreed to that deal.

Here's another story about the same guy, Presidente Mariano Melgarejo. Melgarejo means "stupid" in Indian language. In 1870, Germany invaded France. Melgarejo was infuriated because he had heard how beautiful and elegant Paris was. So, he ordered his top general to send the army to France and defend Paris. The general complained that the army would have to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. Melgarejo angrily replied "Don't be stupid! We will go around the ocean and take a short cut through the brush!"

Anyway, its a good thing they have banned bitcoins because you know crypto currency is impossible. It involves math.

+1 for the lulz

I realy like to read about Bolivia Wink