When I was a kid, a large bank got class time to come and indoctrinate us into the way of banking.
It was a bit of a scam - because the special 'kids' bank accounts they gave us were insulated from reality by not having fees.
It came as a bit of a shock as a teenager to find my few dollars whittled away. I wish they'd just been honest from the outset.
Find a bank with no account maintenance fees - problem solved (well one, anyway).
If you can't even pay the fee with a unit of currency we're all use to, then I can't with a straight face say there are any fees. The typical transaction fees are currently less than a penny and un payable with our current financial system - so there really is no context. Yes, there is a fee, but the breath you exhale speaking of it is almost worth more than the fee itself. Now, having said that, I eventually get around to explaining the fee part when they are at the level of intelligently discussing the lower level blockchain discussions.
Well you can say "really really low fees", "less than a penny fees", "statistically insignificant fees", but absolutely none of those are the same as "no fees", which is what a lot of Bitcoiners are parroting around, and
it is wrong.