i just dont want core to block scaling via block size
You're completely dodging the argument which is fallacy.
because once we have LN, core devs will say things like " the settlement layer must remain DECENTRALIZED,
False assumption.
if you have a problem with the 10$ fees go learn how to use LN, you dumb users that can hardly turn on a computer!"
Appeal to extremes.
sometime cores act like users are going to lose funds because the user didnt upgrade in time.
I've yet to see this somewhere.
user wakes up, everything APPEARS to work fine, and unknown to him a softfork has been activated.
Yet everything continues to work just fine even after a soft fork. This is a moot point.