In my opinion, the way a relationship should start is with trust, honesty, respect, understanding, love, a forgiving mindset, and patience. These things can strengthen the foundation for a relationship to last.

A lot can be changed through open communication. According to you, the man used to gamble secretly and at one point his wife found out. I think the man's wife could not accept this fact, she did not know that her husband was a gambler. She does not like gambling at all. Angry, Resentment and a victim of some kind of deception, so she has decided not to continue a relationship a cheater.

Assume that gambling is bad but not as heinous as theft, cheating or robbery. Anyone who can catch gambling will hide it and not tell anyone and gambling secretly is not something to be taken so badly. A little change in our perspective is needed, have self-control over yourself and discuss it openly without hiding it so that loved ones do not misunderstand and walk away.

To be frankly speaking as a gambler, I literally don't see this as enough reason for the lady to have broken up with the guy simply because she discovered he gambles, because this is an issue both parties could probably have talked about opening to know what could have been the reason why he gambles, whether was it because he needed money or just gambling for the fun of the game. Because to me, it seems the lady had been looking for a reason to break up with him and simply just had to blamed it on gambling. But however, it's also good to have mutual understanding in marriage or relationships regarding things they both could accept and tolerate, and strive to be always open to your partner, most especially if you are the type who loves Sport and gambles.

The wife seem to be a type that gets temper tantrums if she can't get things done her own way, but what the husband got himself into isn't right either.

Maybe the wife has started having some signs of financial threat, so she doesn't want to take chances and bear the risk of allowing him to spend so much ( of course spending a little wouldn't bring such a disagreement). The father stays the head of the home, so if he folds, everyone else will.
Another thing is that the wife may just have that unusual disgust for people that indulge in gambling, placing them below her ratings as irresponsible parents.
it's very important that they should have had some mutual agreements over that already before getting settled. What does two grown ups discuss during courtship?

That your partner is a gambler and didn't told you about it but that you got to know by accident doesn't give a good rationality to eject from the relationship. Except you have been nursing such freaky thoughts and now got a loophole to use for an excuse to leave your partner.

Some partners don't reveal it to their spouse because they feel they could be judged wrongly due to the kind of person they know their spouse to be as someone who doesn't like gambling. But even in relationships we have to respect each others certain choices in as much as they doing those things in a responsible manner.

If you will engage into a relationship with someone, you must be committed to share everything to your partner. This includes all of your best and worst traits so that they are ready to accept you especially when marriage is on the discussion.

What happened to your friend could be described as a hanging sword of Damocles- he saw it coming the moment he kept it secret from his partner.  If your friend could have discussed this with her, then they could possibly do something about, let alone be the solution to your friend's gambling addiction.


Not just in gambling but this applies to every secret that you have. In marriage, you are united as one (1) unit to whom you fully commit all of your obligations and responsibilities in keeping the family together. The moment you lie or break the trust in marriage, then it is a recipe for failure which has happened to your friend.

That's right, it's not a secret, but people have different experiences that they don't want to deal with anymore. If a girl finds out that her boyfriend is a gambler and has several stories of gambling addiction from others, as well as having her own negative experience, she will have a corresponding reaction. Many families break up because one of the spouses gets addicted to gambling, after which the family has no benefit from this addicted person; on the contrary, he brings only losses. Why do you need such a marriage? If a guy hides it from the very beginning, then he understands that his girlfriend does not like it. You can't start a marriage with a lie; either you don't hide anything, or you break up. This is the best step.

Gambling is not a dirty secret, but gambling must be accepted as entertainment. If gambling can be accepted as entertainment, then gambling will not be a dirty secret, and if gambling is turned into an addiction, then gambling will definitely become a curse for a person.

Of course, a man should tell his close people about all his activities because when I am with my wife, my wife is the one who listens to everything. If everything can be told to her openly and if she agrees, then there will be a lot of joy in doing that thing, there will be no fear of hiding. Many relationships break down if there is no good match between husband and wife or between friends or lovers. Therefore, when any work is done, it should be disclosed to the lover between husband and wife if it is worthy of disclosure. For example, the matter of gambling should definitely be discussed between friends, lovers or husband and wife so that later there is no rift in the relationship.

If my companion was to break up with me over the issue of not opening to her from the onset that I was a gambling I would be happy, because if an issue like that was enough to make her start to think of breaking up with me then it means that she’ll probably fill for divorce after we get married if something unexpected should occur and I don’t think that’s the kind of relationship anyone would want to be in.

If the man was honest about other things and kept this hidden, then she should know that there’s a reason for his action and should probably have tried to find that out instead of initiating a break up. We this is just my two cents, a man and a woman need to sit down sometimes and talk about their issue and look for how to solve it, not this one I just read about breakup.

It is cowardice to hide your gambling habit from your spouse, you can decide not to tell another person but your spouse is your companion till death or divorce. People should be open about their likes and dislikes before marriage, it is good to discuss everything so that nothing will come as a surprise to their partner. It'll be deceitful to learn that your husband or wife has always been a gambler if they told you otherwise before marriage. The spouse at the receiving end will find it hard to believe anything said by the lying partner afterwards. Better to let everything out before joining in marriage so your partner can accept you for who you are or move on.

I understand the grounds for break up even though I think it may be too harsh. However since I wasn't there it, I can not judge how the guy responded to the accusation. Maybe he was being defensive. If that was the case then I side with the lady. Anyways the lesson is clear be opened in a relationship. If they are going to accept you, they will accept all of you and if it is going to work out it would. If they are not going to accept you, they don't even if you were a saint.

Others who keep it a secret know that they're not going to be trusted by their partners. And so, instead of telling it to have a common interest in their relationship, they won't tell it because they will be stopped and misunderstood, misjudged.

I agree to you that it should also be informed to the spouse but, it's understandable why many keeps it that way.

They don't want trouble, and they want to gamble peacefully without anyone trying to stop them and telling them that they should do other things than spending their money in gambling.

The common reason why? It is just because that gambling do always share up with that negativity in overall or most of the time on which if people do hear it out then it would be automatically consider that someone whom involved into it considered to be an addicted person or someone whose broke. If you are in a relationship and it turned out that your partner doesnt like gambling then it would be that common sense that you would be trying out to avoid to share it out as much as possible but since there are those individuals who doesnt like on keeping secrets and thats why they would be that totally open on whatever the things on that they do deal up with. There are just that those situations that someone needs up to hide it because they dont want to end up on having that broken relationship just because of gambling on which it might that not ideal but there's no other option if we do keep it from possible break ups.

Even when you are already that married and if your partner found out that you've been that dealing up with gambling then the primary thing that comes up into their minds is that you've been wasting up your money on which it would be supposedly to be used for the benefit of the family on which it isnt wrong though but its not also bad to have some leisure or enjoyment times  and as long you do make use of the amount on which you can afford to lose then i dont see any issues or problems into this one.

When it comes to gambling one should not hide anything from their spouse, because in time of help it will be difficult for the spouse to help, not being able to figure out the direction where the problem is coming from.
The end of the long time marriage wouldn't have ended if there was full trust among themselves, may be he has been lavishing the family funds on gambling unaware to her and she must have been warning and asking him where and what he must have been spending the money on but has been refused opening up untill he was forced to do that by his friend, you cannot tell that a friend of a gambler is not gambler .
Keeping gambling activities away from family members is not always a good idea.

Gambling addiction is like other addiction like smoking, drinking and womanizing, and so there are some women that cannot cope with any of these habit and so informing your spouse at the beginning of the relationship is very important, it is now left if she can cope with your habit or not and maybe it is the addiction she is scared of.

Truth and trust is most important in any relationship we find ourselves, we should learn how to open up to ourselves.

Marriage is all about understanding and in my opinion I think that the lady was just too quick to make her decision to Walk away from the relationship. The guy in question here, If he's addicted then that's a different problem but if he's not I don't see why she's making a fuss about because it should not really be a big deal. Gambling isn't a dirty secret just like you said it only causes problems if it's an addiction

If I'm an active gambler, I'd like to find a partner who can be one of the motivators to get me out of that hole.
I don't want to find a partner who shares my gambling habit.

If that happens, then there is nothing to classify me as when I have become a heavily addicted gambler. In other ways, looking for a partner with the same orientation is what I need to do in order to be comfortable and peaceful as a husband and wife.
Luckily for me, she knows that I have been gambling for entertainment purposes and this is one of my successes in communicating as her husband.

According to what you said that you both shares orientation about Life, which means that you both have known each other for a very long time. Now my question is how come you didn't know that the guy is also a gambler? Is it that the guy was also keeping it as a secret from you?

And how did you get to find out that it was because of gamble that made the wife to break up with her husband? Did you know if there's something going on between the both of them and they have decided to keep it as a secret from you? Because I still doubt it if you said that the wife broke up with him just because she found out that her husband is a gambler, although gamble can also contribute to that but can't be use as the major reason.

If they were really in a relationship, I don't think it'll be possible for the man to have completely hidden that he has been gambling all these years because some habits are really difficult to hide, and men really suck at hiding things unless you as the woman are not observant enough or not paying attention.

Marry your type; there are women for whom gambling is not a deal breaker for them. go for them, so even if you want to be silly and secretive about your gambling habit, it will not ruin your marriage when they find out.

It depends pretty much on the point of view of one's partner whether gambling is a dirty secret and a reason to distrust one. Mostly, because there are people who have a life which was built from the ground up with religion and also due to traumas in their family history having something to do with gambling, alcohol or something else.
For example, if I had a girlfriend who experienced neglect and lack of resources when she was a child because her father was a addicted to gambling, then I would not be surprised she would be willing to break up with me because I am a casual gambler.

Though, regardless of what each person believes about gambling it is always good to be open with one's partner and tell them from the very beginning one has such a hobby or activity to kill time. It is better than trying to hide something for literal years until found out, destroying a relationship.

If you have a spouse and you must gamble I think it's wise you let your partner know about it than keep it secret, keeping it secret Will not only make you lost trust from your partner but will also destroy your home, and on the other hand I don't think a man with family should put much interest on gambling, because gambling doesn't guarantee you a success and as a family man it's kinda dangerous, because after gambling at the end of the day you lost, while family is hoping for you to come home with something and you've already spent it on gambling this is an order for most family men and you know it will not only bring misunderstanding but also make your partner think you have a side chick that you spend on, so as a man with spouse you shouldn't keep it a secret to your spouse or better still don't go into it, your partner should know what you can do and what you can not do so she can be able to defend you whenever it is necessary.

We have to open up for each others, trust on each other and also take responsibility upon ourselves, because gambling should not cause fight or be the reason for a break up in relationship, it pains me so much in seeing that many are well challenged because of things that has to do with relationship and gambling, and this occur as a result of lack in trust, when each party feels they can on their way hide things for each other all in the name of gambling.